A Mothers Hope: Part SIX - Clinging to Hope.

Posted by Susie Bartlett on

Part SIX
There is a saying that says that sometimes you have to hit rock bottom, then the only way out is up! I thought we were at the bottom... but we weren't there yet.
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
By the time Janelle was approaching five months old, things were deteriorating rapidly. We had strike 1 with the oral steroids, strike 2 with the intravenous steroids and yet nothing was slowly down the growth of the Hemangiomas. Basically we were running out of options. Our congregation at our church had been praying all these months and they decided to spend a day fasting to really cry out to God for Janelle's healing. That night we gathered together for prayer and I was able to take Janelle to be prayed for. I remember an elder in the church praying and mentioning 'having to hit rock bottom'. My immediate thought was that we were at rock bottom and God was going to now give us a miracle! The elder then went onto pray that we weren't there yet.... sadly he was right and again God was preparing me for battle.
Every week we were either in the hospital or visiting doctors. Appointments with the eye clinic on one floor, the haematology clinic on another floor, respiratory doctors, paediatricians, plastic surgeons, nutritionists, physiotherapists; the list went on. The nurses got to know us really well and loved Janelle, even the hospital staff fell for her. I was growing in knowledge about her condition and had become concerned about the possibility of the birthmark behind her eye growing back into her brain. So I asked the doctors about this. One said it was impossible because a plate of skull protected it and the other said it was a 'one in a million' chance and not to worry about it. In the meantime they had decided to try and inject steroids directly behind the eye, to try and attack the multiplying vessels. They prepared her for surgery and took a Catscan beforehand. So there I was, sitting in the waiting room alone, anxiously looking for the doctor to come out and tell me it was a success. However he came out sooner than expected, still dressed in his operating greens, that funny hat shaped like a shower cap and those little green slippers, he obviously had come directly to find me. He then told me they had canceled the procedure. Another strike! The Catscan taken beforehand had shown a shadow in the brain cavity and they were now concerned this was the birthmark behind the eye. Janelle was now life threatened and could pass away at any given time.
If they injected the steroids behind the eye, that tiny needle prick could cause haemorrhaging and she would never make it out of theatre. Maybe this was rock bottom?
Later that day Janelle's daddy came into visit on his own, I told him the news. He cried so hard I had to pull the curtains around us for privacy as we were always in a shared ward. That evening, when the doctor came to speak to us and answer all our questions, he went to great lengths to reassure us that our darling baby was in the best possible hands she could be in and they were doing everything to care for her. It was ironic though, because while he was still talking to us out in the hallway, a nurse approached and regretfully said she had accidentally just given Janelle the medicine intended for the baby in the opposite cot! Sometimes the timing of situations during trials is just ridiculous! Thankfully the medicine had no adverse effect on Janelle and again we were back to the drawing board, looking for a cure and running out of time.
We decided to bring Janelle's christening forward as we didn't know how much time we had left with her..... it was a lovely day with mixed emotions and Janelle looked beautiful in her white dress and bonnet.

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